More R.A.A.D.I.D.E.A.S.

ENGAGE!

A New Tagline for Teledildonics

"It simulates and stimulates!"

Whoopi Goldberg Throwing Pumpkins Fetish Porn

According to Rule 34 this should exist, however it does not. Someone must rectify this IMMEDIATELY.

You’re Only Young Twice: Senior Sex Clubs

Think about it: old people have sex. A lot. In fact, nursing homes are a veritable breeding ground for STDs, especially HIV/AIDS. At the same time, society likes to pretend that this doesn’t happen, and that old people having sex is just gross. But think about this: do you want to still have sex with you’re 80? Thought so.

What if someone created a nursing home in which senior sex wasn’t just allowed and culturally acceptable, but encouraged? A place where only those with AARP cards need apply and lube, condoms, and a myriad of straps and supports to help with the more infirm residents with the “horizontal foxtrot” abounded (and, at least in the case of the latter, would provide an awesome kink factor). Furthermore, residents could attend lectures educating them on all the fun experimental stuff that they didn’t get to learn how to do in their youth. Remember, (hopefully not too) young reader, that as late as the 70’s oral sex was considered a major taboo; could you imagine such a deprived world?

Not only would this completely reverse the negative stigma associated with nursing homes and aging in general, but instead of having to grudgingly and guiltily force granddad or grandma into retirement you’d have older people left and right lining up for “Orgy Tuesdays” or “Fleshlight Fridays”. 

Never again would you have to worry about your loved ones not getting the care, respect, and stimulation they need and deserve.